if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
