there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
