Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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