MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
