No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
