just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
