how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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