now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
