How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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