And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize