Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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