the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Found your dick twin last night
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
