There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
