I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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