apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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