if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
