we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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