So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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