I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize