a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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