so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
