he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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