I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
