is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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