You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He better not be in your backpack
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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