Need sex. Gaining weight.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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