Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
