The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
