I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
