Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
