i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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