so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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