im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
