I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
