you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
