So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize