Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
