If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize