watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!