Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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