This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize