he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
