I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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