the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
