A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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