i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
