with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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