I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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