your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
