Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
