i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
