this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
