We're facebook friends in real life
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
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