And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
