Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just gargled with NyQuil
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
