is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
