im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
