I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
