i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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