Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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