My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
