sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
