Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
