Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
