So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We got so high we made milksteak
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
