Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
