why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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