he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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