i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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