GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
