Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
