Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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