i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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