This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
