dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
