I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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